Homura Reacts!
by ElfCollaborator
Summary: Our favourite time-travelling adorable magical girl discovers the world of fanfiction. Hilarity, as always, ensues. Rated T for shenanigans. PMMM belongs to SHAFT. Chapter: None. AU, OOC, absolute crack, crossover warning, shameless yuri. Part of the Greater Reactsverse. ON INDEFINITE HIATUS. SEE NEWEST UPDATE.
1. Homura Reacts to Fanfiction, Part 1!

**Homura Reacts to Fanfiction, Part 1!**

**A/N: Welcome, one and all, to Weis-I mean, Lucin-I mean...err, I'm not used to making new things. Welcome, one and all, to Homura Reacts! Yes! I am FINALLY writing for this fandom, and it shall be amazing. For those of you not familiar with me, you may recognise me from my other fics ****Weiss Reacts ****and ****Lucina Reacts****. Judging by the title, it wouldn't be inaccurate to assume that this'll be exactly like those fics- reacting to fanfiction and everything else. **

**Which means the typical canon-raping insanity typical of these fics. Read at your own peril. We will be ignoring the events of Rebellion and going with Reactsverse canon for obvious reasons (a bit hard to make a comedic fanfic about Madoka if she's a goddess who technically doesn't exist, no?)**

**DISCLAIMER: Puella Magi Madoka Magica belongs to Studio Shaft, otherwise Madoka, Homura and Hitomi would be doing Azusa, Mio and Mugi cosplays. (With Kyubey donning Wolf!Ritsu hats!)**

**All mentioned franchises and characters belong to their respective owners.**

* * *

It was a peaceful day in Mitakhihara. All was well and all was perfect in the world, especially in the world of one Homura Akemi.

Until one fateful morning, down at the Kaname Residence.

"AAAAAAAHHHHH!"

The first thing that jolted Homura from her peaceful slumber was the sound of Madoka's screaming.

Not the nicest thing to hear at eight in the morning, all things considered. Especially for Homura.

"Madoka!" Homura's eyes shot open quickly, looking around, her hand flying instinctively to the back of her arm where her buckler would be, before remembering she wasn't in Puella Magi form. "...what's going on? What the-"

"H-Homura..." Madoka backed away from the computer, shaking her head, horrified. "W-what did I..."

The black-haired girl immediately took her aside, staring at the computer screen.

"Madoka, what did you..."

Homura was rendered speechless by the contents of the screen, of course.

It was a narrative of some sort, from initial inspection. That in itself was not unusual- Madoka loved reading stories on her computer, after Hitomi had gotten her into it. She was particularly fond of that one web novel about a girl with superpowers involving the control of insects and other such small creatures, Homura had noted from her web history.

This was completely different.

For one, this story was about her and Madoka. Specifically, her doing _incredibly_ lewd things to Madoka, involving chocolate syrup, for some sick and perverted reason. She couldn't take her eyes off the part where Madoka _squealed _in pleasure, either- the thought of which Homura was forced to shake out of her head, as much as she enjoyed it.

The black-haired girl blinked, blushing profusely. She felt the warmth spread on her cheeks, a strange feeling for her.

This would only be the first of many.

She opened her mouth, as if to protest, but nothing could come out; her embarrassment was far too overpowering

"H-Homura...w-what is that?!" The pinkette squeaked out, hiding underneath a blanket. "I-It's so...I-I don't...

What were you do -"  
"You don't need to know, Madoka." Homura stated firmly, mastering herself and regaining her composure. "I'll tell you when you're old enough. Like when you're twenty-three."

"...w-who...who would write something like that?!" Madoka cried, shocked. "...a-are there people out there willing to embarrass us? Is someone trying to blackmail us?"

Homura immediately scanned the room for hidden cameras of any sort that would catch their reactions- taking a look at Madoka's various plushies, ranging from tiny dog plushies to ones of that bear-like mascot from that one store Homura swore was everywhere nowadays, on the ceiling and even the computer itself.

None were to be found.

'_Wait._' Homura thought carefully. _'...of course. Clearly, only one person would dare do something so perverted_.

_Sayaka Miki...you've gone TOO far. I know you and I have been at odds for a while, but to hurt Madoka...I cannot allow it!_'

Homura's expression hardened and her fist clenched.

"Madoka, I will be right back." She stood up, strolling over to the bedroom door. "I...believe I know who created such a story.

I'll have to have some words with them."

Madoka reached after her. "Homura, don't do something _too_ horrible! It wasn't that-"

The door slammed behind the black-haired girl as she left.

"...bad." The pinkette sighed. "...Homura, you don't need to do things like that just because they embarrass me..."

* * *

_Meanwhile, at the Miki Residence..._

Kyoko sighed, popping open a pack of Pocky and shoving one stick into her mouth, resting her legs on a coffee table.

"Heh. Life's good, eh, Sayaka?"  
The blunette sighed, grumbling. "Kyoko, _please_, I just _cleaned_ that table..."  
"Whoops." Kyoko lifted her feet and put them back on the floor, rubbing the resultant smudge off with her sleeve, chuckling and grinning. "No biggie? See? All gone!"  
"Not the point." Sayaka shook her head. "Dammit, Kyoko, just because you live here doesn't mean you have to treat it like a pigsty..."  
"Well, excuse me, _princess_, but some of us didn't have the luxury of living in a house at all-"

Suddenly, the front door fell down with a thud to reveal an irritated Homura.

She was decked out in full Puella Magi gear and what looked like a sawn-off shotgun in her hands. The black-haired girl looked around, glaring at both girls, and patted her buckler firmly to garner their attention- not that kicking the door down hadn't already.

"Akemi?" Kyoko raised her eyebrow. "What the hell are you-"  
"Shut it, Sakura." The black-haired girl shot her fellow a glare, before looking over at Sayaka. "Miki, what did you do to Madoka?"  
"Huh?" Sayaka looked confused. "What are you-"  
"Don't play innocent with me, I know you _wrote_ it!"

"Innocent?" The blunette glared at her. "Homura, you're talking nonsense! What are you talking about?"  
Homura closed her eyes and sighed irritably, shaking her head vigorously. "Just...Just get me to a computer so I can show you the thing you clearly did!"

...

"Wow." Sayaka raised an eyebrow, impressed. "You've got a good memory. How'd you memorise such a long web address-"  
"Shut up, Miki, you knew I'd memorise it." Homura interjected harshly, showing her the story. "There. Recognise it now?"

Kyoko took one look, before her mouth opened in shock, the Pocky almost dropping out if it hadn't been caught with her free hand.

"That...is one _dirty_ story."

Sayaka blushed profusely. "Well...I-I mean...wait...why do you think _I_ wrote it?!"

"Because...actually, now that I think of it, blaming you was somewhat irrational, even if we were at odds once." Homura noted, nodding slowly.

Kyoko facepalmed, before staring at Homura. "You mean you _kicked_ _down our front door_-"  
"_MY_ front door, Kyoko." Sayaka corrected her. "The one I have to _explain to my parents_, by the way-"...because you thought Sayaka, the most innocent of all virgins-"  
"D-does that really need to be brought up?!" The blunette snapped, blushing.

"...wrote a story about you and Madoka getting all touchy-feely to make you feel embarrassed?" The redhead continued, giving Homura a quizzical look.

"Wait, how do you know she's a-" Homura started.  
"You don't need to know." Kyoko snapped.

Sayaka looked away, ashamed. "S-shut up, Kyoko..."  
The black-haired girl filed that away for future reference, before clearing her throat and continuing. "Anyway...I...I only reacted so harshly because Madoka was embarrassed."  
"Oh. So you're worried about your girlfriend now, is that so?" The redhead grinned, watching Homura stare at her for a second before shaking her head rigorously.  
"S-she's not my girlfriend!"

"Keep talking like that and maybe it'll be true, Akemi." Kyoko scoffed, shoving another Pocky stick into her mouth. "Anyway, I can tell you none of us wrote that kinda crap."

"I see." Homura sighed, putting her shotgun away and transforming back to her civilian form. "Thank you for the clarification.

And sorry about the door, Miki. If you excuse me, I have a person to be looking for."  
With that, she walked out of Sayaka's bedroom.

"Hey!" The blunette yelled after her. "You still have to fix my door, you know! The one you _kicked in_!"

No response.

"Dammit." Sayaka sighed, exasperated. "And I already have to deal with _you_, Kyoko..."  
"Least I don't kick down doors like some action hero." Kyoko scoffed, before pointing the pack of Pocky sticks in her hand towards her housemate.

"Want one?"

* * *

_Later, at Mitakihara Park..._

"...Tomoe, where are you?" Homura sighed, looking around as she brought up the story on her phone- that she most certainly did not remember because she enjoyed reading it- and sat on a bench, waiting for the senior magical girl of Mitakihara to show up.

"Tomoe? Where-oh, good grief, _Mami_."

The roar of a motorcycle could be heard nearby. Homura sighed in exasperation as she looked to her left, where the sound came from.

Indeed, a motorcycle was rumbling up to her. It was custom-made, with a snowflake symbol Homura did not recognise, and plated with gold and chrome coverings and an engine even the most obsessed of bikers would kill for.

And upon it was a voluptuous blonde girl, leather jacket and aviator scarf perfectly perched on her, with her eyes hidden behind shiny black shades, her golden curls flying in the wind behind her as she swerved the bike to a stop. She climbed off it, strolling towards the black-haired girl who was staring at her.

Mami Tomoe, resident senior magical girl of Mitakihara, raised her shades and looked over at Homura, shooting her as cool a look as she could muster.

"...you like my new look? I think it makes me look perfectly dashing." Mami announced proudly, dusting her leather jacket off.

Homura's eyes narrowed irritably.  
"...what kind of silly look is that?! What are you, some kind of delinquent?"

Mami frowned, before taking her jacket off to reveal her normal gothic bustier, sighing.

"You could stand to be a bit more cheerful, Homura." Mami reminded her. "You know we're no longer a bunch of undead liches."  
"To this day, I _still_ don't know how you and I pulled that off."

"Nobody needs to know." Mami cut her off, slinging her leather jacket over her shoulder and undoing her scarf. "Anyway, why'd you call? You're not one for parties."

"I need you to explain to me what this is." The black-haired girl showed her the story in question, allowing Mami to examine it closely.

"Hehe...oh dear." The girl chuckled. "It seems you have a bit of a situation here, no? Chocolate syrup and...oh my-"  
"E-enough talking about it!" Homura snapped. "What is it and who wrote it?!"

"...oh, right. You never had time to become a fan of anything, did you?"  
"A...fan?" Homura pondered the meaning of the term for a moment; she knew what it was, but she'd never found the time to enjoy TV shows, books or anything of the sort.

"Heh. I'm personally a 'Creamy Mami' and a 'Magical Momo' fan." Mami chuckled, before whipping out a tea cup and a thermos, pouring herself some tea. "That story you're reading now, it's a fanfiction."  
"A what?"

"A story, about characters people like, written by fans." Mami clarified calmly.

Homura gave her a flat look. "I'm do not comprehend."

"...if I were to write a story about, say, a book character I liked, that would be fanfiction." Mami explained, sighing. "Homura, you've seen fans before. Remember that convention we went to?"  
"You mean the one where that strange girl in the red cloak mistook us for...she called them cosplayers?" Homura scratched her head, understanding slightly more.

"Yes. Those are things made by fans. You- well, _we-_ have fans."

"Who would want to watch us?" The black-haired girl inquired, confused.

The blonde girl looked aside, eyes narrowed.

'_For a sharp girl with almost years of experience over me, Homura really is dense._'

"We're magical girls with cool powers."  
"And if I recall, we were also liches." Homura reminded her.

"People enjoy suffering." Mami shrugged. "You've seen Hamlet, right?"

"Ham...let?"

Mami sighed. One of these days, she'd need to take Homura out to see a film or something. The girl _really_ needed to get out more.

"...okay, you people need to get educated. Especially Madoka." The blonde girl climbed back onto her motorcycle. "Climb on."

"Huh?" Homura stared at her. "Mami, what are you doing-"  
"I'm going to introduce you two to the world of fanfiction!"

"If all fanfiction is this lewd, then I _highly_ refuse-"  
"It's not and as your sempai, I order you to read it with me." Mami interrupted her.

"That's not how it works-"  
"Homura." Mami uttered firmly and harshly, in a tone which Homura recognised as the one she would take when she wasn't going to take any more talking back.

She immediately shut up.

"Good." The blonde smiled. "Now, let's get going, shall we?"

"...I already have a feeling I won't like the road you're leading me down, Mami."  
Mami frowned slightly. "Oh, Homura. Have a sense of _adventure,_ will you?"

With a twist of her hand causing the engine to rumble and Homura to tightly grip her sempai's waist, Mami began to drive off to the Kaname residence.

And thus began an introduction into the world of fanfiction and all other sorts of pursuits a normal person would follow.

One which Homura would later come to regret.

* * *

**To be continued...**

* * *

**A/N: Well, that was...off. If you're still here, come back for part 2, when Madoka and Homura react to more fanfiction!**

**So, I hope you enjoyed that, leave your ideas, comments, suggestions, reviews, criticisms and thoughts, and I hope you have a GREAT day! Until next time!**


	2. Homura Reacts to Fanfiction, Part 2!

**Homura Reacts to Fanfiction, Part 2!**

**A/N: Welcome, one and all, to Homura Reacts! The first chapter was more successful than expected, so thanks for the support, guys! And now for the madness involving fanfiction. Which means madness. Haha. Haha. HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHA-**

**Ahem. Hm. Yes. We must embarrass everyone. Even Mami-san. Yes, especially Mami-san. Did I mention I like Mami? I do. Right-o. Let's get this out of the way before you people get bored of my terrifying rants.**

**DISCLAIMER: Puella Magi Madoka Magica belongs to Studio SHAFT, otherwise they'd have maid costumes.**

**All mentioned franchises and characters belong to their respective owners.**

* * *

_The Kaname Residence..._

"...eh? S-Sempai?!" Madoka looked confusedly at Mami as she pushed her firmly onto her bed next to Homura.

"Mami, what are you do-"  
"I'm going to introduce you both to the world of fanfiction!" Mami declared, smiling happily. "Isn't that great?"  
"If that's the case, then why the hell am I here?!" Kyoko snapped, glaring at her. "I don't even care about that crap!"  
"And _I've _got a door to fix since _Homura_ here decided to kick it down..." Sayaka pointed out, glaring at the black-haired girl, who shrugged casually.

"I have but one aim; to protect Madoka." Homura declared coldly. "I had reason to believe you wrote it to embarrass Madoka. The door was worth nothing in the defence of Madoka."  
Madoka shivered. "I still don't know what that story was about...but Homura said she won't tell me until I'm old enough..."

Kyoko grinned. "Oh, _Homura_, trying to preserve her innocence all for yourself, eh.."  
"S-shut your mouth, Sakura..." Homura glared at her, crossing her arms as the red-haired girl merely winked at her, chuckling.

Mami held a finger to her mouth. "_You _wanted to ride in the sidecar of my motorcycle, so quit complaining, Sayaka. So, how would we all like some cake?"

Kyoko nodded. "Sure, cake'd be nice. Wait, you bought cake?"  
"I suppose I'll have some, Senpai..." Madoka smiled, nodding, but still somewhat unsure of what to do."

Homura, however, gave her a flat stare. "Mami, I told you, I don't believe I need an introduction to fanfiction. It's nothing but disgusting and embarrassing-"

"_Homura_." Mami gave her another glare and a calm rebuke, causing her to shut up once more.

Kyoko whispered over to Sayaka. "...It's because she's lonely again. Not often Nagisa goes over to Mami's apartment, considering they live on opposite ends of town..."

"Alright." Mami rubbed her hands, grabbing slices of cake for everyone and distributing them to everyone. "So, are we all seated comfortably? We're about to go on a wonderful adventure into a world you people have never embarked upon before!

A magical adventure into the world we call..." Mami wrapped her arm around Homura, gesturing to the window. "...fandom."  
Homura shut her eyes and pinched the bridge of her nose irritably. "Mami, get off of me."

"Anyway, you are all aware that we all have fans, right?" The blonde continued.

Kyoko rolled her eyes, waving her off. "Yeah, yeah. I know. I had to chase one of those creepy stalkers off when he tried to take a lock of my hair.

Seriously, I know I'm hot, but come _on_..."

"Well, those fans love writing stories about us." Mami explained. "It's really quite cute-"  
Homura interrupted her. "Are you _sure_ you didn't write the one I showed you?"  
"Now, poor Homura here has seen the horrors of badly written smut!" Mami declared, continuing her explanation. "And I...feel that if you people are going to move on with your lives, you're going to have to deal with the fact that we're famous.

At least, on the Internet. Therefore, I feel that as your Senpai, it is my job to induct you into this new world!"  
Sayaka tilted her head. "If you wanted us to come over to yours, Mami-san, you could've asked..."

"I-It's not about that." Mami cut her off, shaking her head. "Anyway. Let's start reading some fanfic, yes?"

Kyoko looked over to her housemate, rolling her eyes. "This can't end well."

"You_ think_?"

* * *

Homura tilted her head at the laptop screen as Mami hooked it up to Madoka's TV. "Just _what_ is that story?"  
"I picked it myself." Mami declared proudly. "I think it's right we start with a fairly light fic-"

"...light?" Sayaka scratched her head. "Mami-san, that's just...what the..."

Her cheeks turned red. "Is that supposed to be me...and _Kyoko_-"

Kyoko's mouth was agape in shock at the screen. "...w-what?"

Mami tilted her head. "Huh? What's wrong?"

"...t-that's a...w-waste of good Pocky..." The redhead managed to choke out, her cheeks similarly red.

Homura closed her eyes and pointed at the screen, sighing. The senior girl raised an eyebrow before turning around.

"O-Oh! This is just...err...one of my bookmarks! Excuse me!"

"...you keep a fic about me and Kyoko doing _that_ a _bookmark_?!" Sayaka cried, embarrassed.

Mami shrugged. "As your Senpai, it's my job to make sure that I'm fully updated to any possible situation you might encounter! Including on the Internet!"

Madoka tilted her head at the screen. "What _are_ they doing?"

Homura merely shielded her eyes from it with her hand. "As I said, I'll tell you when you're thirty."

"Thirty?!"

"I meant twenty."

Meanwhile, Mami scrambled to change the page, going to a different one.

"Okaaaay. This one should be alright!"  
"Hey! It's apparently my birthday!" Madoka cheered. "Finally, a story which doesn't involve strange things like squealing in pleasure!"

"...so much for innocence." Kyoko remarked drily.

"...why do people spend so much time writing stories about us?" Homura scratched her head. "As I said, I do not understand how we are so popular."

"Because fans love tragic stories and ours, as far as they know, are the perfect breeding ground for crying and angst." Mami explained in a rehearsed manner. "Have you people never watched things like CLANNAD?"

Kyoko, Sayaka and Homura gave her a blank look. Madoka raised her hand.

"Oh! I've watched that one! Is it that one about that guy and the girl with cockroach hair?"  
"It was pretty sad, wasn't it?" Mami inquired.

"Yes..."

"See? Fans will _eat_ that up."

Sayaka looked aside. "Our fans must be a bunch of sadists..."

"Eh. I'm cool with it." Kyoko kicked back. "Long as they don't, you know, _try to take locks of my hair._"

Madoka looked up. "I-I suppose...if it wasn't too hard to deal with...a-and don't you think it's nice that people like us that much to write stories about us?"

Homura remained impassive. "Trying to corrupt your innocence does not enthuse these fans to me."

Kyoko raised an eyebrow. "Corrupt her innocence? You two are _suspiciously_ close, to the point you live with each other- wait a minute, where _does_ Homura sleep?"  
"None of your business." The black-haired girl cut her off brusquely. "Mami, continue."

"Anyway, as these fics show, not all of them are...well..._improper._" The upperclassman sighed, gesturing to the screen. "Some of them are nice and friendly!

And we'll go onto the archive to prove that! As you can-" Mami stopped as she stared at the screen.

"Huh?" Madoka craned her head closer to the screen. "What's going on? Huh?"

Sayaka merely looked away, ashamed by what was on the screen.

Homura stared at the screen, and instantly, a feeling of anger welled in her mind as she realised exactly what was going on.

A series of very _improper_ happenings between all of the girls, including at least one between Mami, Kyoko and Madoka, specifically, was what was happening.

"...as I thought. These fans are out to ensure that Madoka's decency is compromised." The black-haired girl declared vehemently. "They must be terminated."

"A-agreed." Sayaka choked out, clearing her throat. "A-and I think I-I know who's responsible!"

Mami nodded. "Agreed, then we will hunt them down and make them pay for embarrassing us!"  
"Finally." Kyoko sighed. "Been _dying_ for some ass-kicking."

All four girls stormed out of the room, heading down to Mami's bike outside.

Madoka reached after them futilely.

"D-don't you guys think this is a _little_ bit...overr-aaand they're gone." The pinkette sighed, frowning as she nibbled on her piece of cake.

"...knowing Sayaka, I think I know exactly where they're going."

* * *

_The Shizuki Residence..._

Hitomi sighed, stretching her fingers as she finished arranging her teacups in order.

"Excellent!" The girl squeed. "Now, hopefully I can go fix my kettles nex-"

Suddenly, Sayaka, Homura, Mami and Kyoko busted through her bedroom window, knocking the teacups out of order with the shrapnel and landed in a circle around her, in full magical girl form, weapons pointed at her.

Hitomi sighed, picking up one of the teacups from the floor, shaking it to remove the shrapnel, and dusted it off.

"Hi!", the girl greeted her visitors cheerfully. "So nice to have you all drop in. How's Madoka, by the way?"

"D-don't play dumb with us, Hitomi! You know you wrote that perverted story about us?"  
"Huh?" Hitomi tilted her head. "I don't know what you mean..."

Homura looked over at her teammate. "Miki, are you sure you didn't just go here because you're still jealous about Kamij-"  
"Nobody asked you, Homura." Sayaka retorted brusquely. "Now, tell me where that story is so we can delete it!"  
"I don't know what you're all talking about, but it sounds very embarrassing." Hitomi smiled. "Tea?"

"I'd love some, actually." Mami accepted, but Sayaka held her back with her arm, growling.

"YOU WROTE IT, DIDN'T YOU?!"

"...I insist, I couldn't have. I was busy cleaning my room up before you all arrived! You must really tell me when you'll arrive, too. If I knew I had visitors, I would've-"

Sayaka drew her cutlass." That does it! I'm going to end this now! Guys, let's get her!"

Kyoko grinned evilly. "Alright! Let's kick her ass!"

Mami and Homura shared a look.

"You think this'll end well, Homura?"  
"Not at all. How fast do you think we can run?"

"Just stay and pick those two up when it's done."

Hitomi closed her eyes and sighed, letting her arms slack to her sides. "You know, Sayaka, if you want to fight, you could always meet me at the kendo _dojo_ instead of this."  
The blunette shook her head and charged at her. "Gah! I'm going to avenge my decency as a _Hero of Justic-_"

_Minutes later..._

The group was back on Mami's bike and moving away from the Shizuki house, with Homura behind Mami and the other two on a sidecar, clutching their stomachs, their weapons bent and broken in the car with them.

"Ow...Hitomi hits so hard..." Sayaka groaned, rubbing her pained abdomen. "...I think I'm going to be feeling that tomorrow..."

"Dammit...that girl kicked both our asses..." Kyoko complained, lying back and closing her eyes in pain.

Mami sighed. "I did warn you both not to fight her. Especially you, Sayaka. I expected a more level head."  
"...alright..." The blunette exhaled. "You don't have to rub it in..."

"...and besides, how was it Hitomi's fault again?" The upperclassman raised an eyebrow.

"...b-because I thought it was, okay? I make mistakes!"

Kyoko grumbled. "That mistake got us both smashed...to think a girl can physically _punch_ that hard..."

Homura sighed. "I'll make sure you people don't collapse from pain when we get back. I'm still wondering who actually _wrote_ that..."

Mami swerved around the final corner as they approached the Kaname residence. "We're here!"

Homura dismounted, rolling her head. "Finally, we're-"  
"There you all are." Junko, Madoka's mother, strolled up to them with a concerned expression. "Madoka was looking all over for you four! Where were you-oh my! Sayaka! You look battered!"

"...I _was_ battered..." Sayaka moaned. Homura waved it off.

"She accidentally hit a branch while she was running through a brush. She's fine."

"Heh. You gotta be tougher, you know. Just like Homura here."

"Thank you, Miss Kaname." Homura uttered with nary a hint of emotion. "Where's Madoka?"

"She should be back soo-"  
"Guys!" Madoka rounded the corner. "Where were you?!"

Mami shook her head and closed her eyes. "Sayaka took us to Hitomi's house. She says hi, by the way."

"...oh, that makes sense." The pinkette nodded. "So...err...we'll finish the cake?"

Mami nodded. "And then tomorrow, I'm introducing you all to video games! I believe that the first one we should all have a look at is none other than the best- Super Smash Bros!"

"But I-"  
"That aren't arcade games and I know FULL well you don't _own_ a console, Kyoko."

Homura, meanwhile, had something else to ponder.

"Just _who_ wrote that story, anyway? Surely it must be some sick-minded pervert with nothing else to do...and daring to embarrass my Madoka...

It's plain _unforgivable._ They _must_ be some sort of evil monster..."

* * *

Elsewhere in the Reactsverse, a certain tactician by the name of Reflet sneezed.

* * *

**END**

* * *

**A/N: I got carried away. God dammit. Also, Hitomi is a badass. AND BET YOU DIDN'T EXPECT FIRE EMBLEM SHOUTOUTS HUH**

**Next, Homura Reacts to Super Smash Bros!**

**So, I hope you enjoyed that, leave your ideas, comments, reviews, suggestions, criticisms and thoughts, and I hope you have a GREAT day! Until next time!**


	3. Homura Reacts to Super Smash Bros!

**Homura Reacts to Super Smash Bros!**

**A/N: Welcome, one and all, to Homura Reacts! It's just about time we got this crap out of the way and got this show on the road. I must say, I am disappoint by the amount of the angst and drama fics in this section- after all, they've already suffered through Hell as it is in the series, so time for a happier tact.**

**Nothing like **_**Mami's Everyday Life**_**, though. That can go burn in a pit.**

**DISCLAIMER: Puella Magi Madoka Magica belongs to Studio SHAFT, otherwise there would be Skullgirls cosplays for all of the characters (bonus points if you get the reference.)**

**Super Smash Bros belongs to Nintendo.**

**All mentioned characters and franchises belong to their respective owners.**

* * *

_The Tomoe Residence..._

"H-Homura..." Madoka inquired shyly as Homura dragged her along up the stairs towards Mami's apartment. "...d-did you have to..."

"That bus was getting in your way." Homura stated matter-of-factly. "It was definitely necessary to move it out of the way."

Madoka frowned. "Y-you didn't have to be so mean to the d-driver..."

"Acceptable collateral." Homura responded brusquely. "He shouldn't have shouted at you."

"You made him cry..." The pinkette pointed out, but the aloof girl merely ignored her and walked up to Mami's door, rapping lightly on the door.

Mami, dressed in a maid outfit- replete with a white apron and tiara, opened the door, waving at her. "Hello, Homura! How are you!"

"Mami, what is _up_ with that silly outfit?" Homura facepalmed. Mami frowned, looking down at her skirt.

"Oh, this? Oh, I had to do a charity run." The upperclassman explained, smiling brightly. "It was fancy-dress. Pretty awesome, huh?"

"Would that charity benefit Madoka?"

"It's supposed to go towards making new houses at the edge of town-"  
"I see. Pointless then." Homura interrupted her. "May we come in?"

Mami pouted, moving aside. "Not everything is about Madoka-chan, you know."

"I beg to differ." As Homura walked in, Madoka smiled at her _sempai_, giving her a thumbs up.

"Nice costume. Custom made?"

"Bought it in a nice town near Okina City." Mami explained as she guided the pair to the couch where Sayaka and Kyoko were waiting. "I think I bought it from someone called...Tatsumi? Eh, it was a long time ago, and I felt like buying one."

Homura took a seat without acknowledging Sayaka and barely a nod to Kyoko. "The same time you went to Inaba, I'm guessing?"

"How did you guess?" Mami inquired, crouching by her fridge to grab some snacks.

"Inaba is the only town within five miles of Okina."

"Good point. So, are you all ready to play?"

"Tch. What is this Super Smash Bros thing anyway?" Kyoko inquired with a sneer, a stick of Pocky present in her mouth as usual.

"A fighting game."

The redhead raised an eyebrow at her ex-partner as she walked over with a bowl of _mochi_."What, like BlazBlue? I'm really good with Litchi."

"A bit less like that. Think a mix between a platformer, a party game and a fighting game and you're getting there."

"Oh, like that one on the Playstation?" Sayaka, herself an avid gamer, inquired.

Mami shot her a dark glare.

"_Never_ speak to me of that game, _Miki_."

"Huh. Must not have liked it too much." The blunette shrugged. "Eh."

"Explain this to me." Homura started, staring over at Mami. "Why did you drag us over here to play video games? I could've been-"  
"Using this time to take candid pictures of Madoka." Mami pointed out, causing the black-haired girl to blush slightly.

"T-those are pictures taken to ensure I-I can identify Madoka i-in case of an emergency..."

Sayaka gave her a dubious look. "You entirely sure about that?"

Madoka tilted her head. "Huh? You take pictures of me, Homura?"

"For your own protection!"

"Anyway!" The blonde snapped, cutting off the others. "It has been brought to my attention that most of us don't have normal lives, with the exception of Madoka-chan and Sayaka."

"W-who're you calling 'abnormal ', Tomoe?!" Kyoko snapped, glaring at her.

Mami calmly sipped some tea out of a cup Homura noticed she'd been holding the entire time. "Hence, as your _sempai_, it is my job to make sure you have normal life experiences."  
"This takes away from time I could be using to protect Madoka." Homura calmly rebuked her. "I have no time for such silly-"  
"_Homura_."

Homura shut up immediately.

Kyoko sighed, stretching her legs out and placing one arm behind her head to rest upon. "Can we guys get started so I can kick your asses already?"

"As you wish." Mami adjusted her collar. "Be warned, this is nothing like BlazBlue."  
"Pfft. It's a fighting game. I could beat you any day!"

Sayaka picked up her own controller. "For what it's worth, it's good Mami dragged you out of the house. You spend half your days doing nothing but eating Pocky and making me clean up your mess..."  
"It's summer vacation!" The redhead protested. "What do you expect me to do, _study_ or something? Sheesh. You're a killjoy sometimes, Sayaka."

* * *

Homura scratched her head at the character selection screen. "So, which characters do we pick?"

"Whichever. I don't care." Mami shrugged.

"...I shall pick my own character." Mami declared. "I made a character of my own, named, of course, Mami-chan."

"A healthy sense of ego, Mami, as always." Sayaka remarked drily. "Hm. Link looks good..."

"Pfft. I bet Robin would kick both your asses." Kyoko declared as she picked Female Robin, before changing her costume to red. "Hey, she even looks a little like me, too!"

Homura sighed. "This game is pointless. I don't see why I have to play it-"

Madoka cheered happily. "Oh! Oh! Pit looks nice! I'll play him! This looks exciting!"

"...on second thought, I'll give it a go." Homura immediately picked Lucina. "There. For some reason, I like this Lucina character already. How unusual."

"Oh, she's more similar than you think, dear Homura~" Mami chuckled as she picked a Mii Gunner made to look exactly like her.

"Now, as we have five players, let's go into teams. Homura and Madoka, you two are together. Sayaka and Kyoko, you two go together. I will go by myself.

We will have one life each, last team with a member alive wins!"  
Kyoko wrapped her arm around Sayaka. "Hear that? We're battle buddies!"  
"Yep." Sayaka cracked her knuckles. "Right, Kyoko, we're not going to let Mami own us this time."

Madoka clenched hers tightly. "Homura, you're going to help me, right? I don't know how to play this game..."  
"Very well." Homura glared over at her opponents. "I will make sure we are victorious."

Mami rubbed her hands together gleefully. "Excellent! Best out of three, the winner takes home the chocolate cake I baked!"  
"Cake's in this?" Kyoko's head shot up, before she started licking her lips. "Ohoh, Mami. Shouldn't have said that, now I'm _definitely_ going to win this!"

"And Homura, no stopping time so you can predict our moves." Mami looked over at the black-haired girl. "We can tell when you do that."  
"...rats." Homura frowned. "How can you even-"  
Mami shrugged casually. "I'm in your head. Or, you know, we're used to Kyubey exploding in a shower of gore and lead after you look at him for one second."

"I have to be more subtle, then." The black-haired girl muttered.

"Anyway, to Gaur Plain!" The blonde declared, selecting an appropriate stage; flat, of course.

* * *

The game started, with Homura and Madoka starting to the left, Mami in the middle, and Sayaka and Kyoko to the right.

"Right! Uh...how do I play this?" Madoka frowned, looking at her controller. Homura reached over, helping her figure it out.

"You press that to use a normal attack and that to attack with a special ability. Oh, and that pad to jump."

"Thanks!"

"Tch, the other two are completely lost!" Kyoko scoffed. "Let's take Mami out first, then weed out the weaklings!"  
"Right." Sayaka moved with practiced deftness- after all, even without having played this game, the girl still dabbled in gaming from time to time, enough to know her way around it.

On stage, her Link attempted to fire a clawshot to grab Mami's Mii Gunner, only for her to deftly slide past it and shoot her in the face, sending her backwards.

The blunette turned to her partner. "Kyoko! Her flank's exposed!"

She grinned, grasping her controller even tighter. "Got it! _Hasta la __**vista**_, MamI!"

Kyoko's Robin charged up a Thoron blast and shot it into Mami's fighter's back, sending her flying into Homura's Lucina.

"Tch." Mami scoffed. "Tough fighters. Not as tough as me!"

Whirling around, Mami attempted to smash her gun into Lucina, only to be met with a well-timed Counter.

"Huh." Homura rubbed her chin as she watched her opponent be tossed away. "So that's what it does."

"More lightning! MORE!" Kyoko laughed manically as she shot thunderbolt after thunderbolt at Mami. "Now, di-"  
"Oh, by the way, I can absorb projectiles to heal."  
The redhead stared at the screen as her Thunder spamming merely healed all of Mami's damage.

"WHAT THAT'S BULLSHIT YOU CAN'T DO THAT"

Mami grinned. "Beauty of custom characters."

"Then absorb this!"

Sayaka's Link hurled a bomb at Mami and blew her off stage. With practiced efficiency, however, the blonde deftly manoeuvred her character back onto stage and blasted a charged shot into Link, who shielded against it.

"Now, Madoka!"

"Huh-" Sayaka didn't notice Madoka's Pit arrow slamming into her back, depleting her shield entirely and throwing her into helplessness.

"I did it!" The pinkette cheered. "I'm not terrible at this!"

"Stay calm, Madoka. We have a fight to win." Homura rebuked her. "Now, to do this."

Homura's Lucina followed up the shieldbreak with a series of determined slashes into Link, inflicting some damage, with Pit hailing arrows into her, before Homura ended it with a final charged thrust of the Falchion into Link, sending him flying off screen, his death signalled by an explosion to the side.

"WHAT?!" Sayaka stared at them in shock. "Are you serious?!"

Madoka hugged Homura's side tightly and cheered happily. "We're a great team!"

The black-haired girl blushed slightly, looking uncharacteristically embarrassed. "M-Madoka..."

Kyoko roared at them angrily. "I WILL WIN THAT CAKE!"

Robin rushed at Pit, blasting an Arcfire at her. Homura repaid it in kind, however, by, in a single agile motion, having Lucina grab Robin, hurl her behind and blast her off the stage with a smash attack, ending her team's involvement in the fight.

Kyoko dropped her controller, staring at the screen with a twitching eyelid.

Rather suddenly, however, Lucina was taken out with a grenade from Mami's Gunner, leaving the fight between the inexperienced Madoka and the veteran Mami.

Homura scowled. "Dammit. I failed to protect Madoka sufficiently. I apologise."

Mami frowned slightly. "I'm sorry, Madoka, but I'm going to be keeping my-"  
"Oh, what's that?" Madoka looked at the floating rainbow ball that had found itself floating around the stage. She struck it several times with arrows before Mami could notice.

Mami's face immediately warped into a terrified one. "Oh, cra-"

Madoka pressed the special button, triggering Pit's Final Smash. Mami's Gunner was consumed in a hail of energy blasts and utterly annihilated.

The blonde was speechless for a couple of seconds. "...a literal deus ex machina..."

"I won!" Madoka cheered. "I really won!"

Homura exhaled. "That, you did."

Kyoko crossed her arms, looking indignantly at both of them. "I-It's not over yet! Best out of three!"

"Indeed." Mami nodded. "Let's see how you both do now that I know your capabilities.

We shall play one more match, to see who is _really_ worthy of the cake!"

"Okay." Madoka smiled. "May the best man win!"  
"Screw that, I just want my cake." Kyoko muttered. Sayaka rolled her eyes.  
"Is all you think about food?"  
"Wait, there's other things?!" The redhead retorted sarcastically. "I never knew that!"

The blunette looked aside. "Could've fooled me."

* * *

Mami began the match anew, this time playing Kirby. She cracked her knuckles.

"Alright, you've had your fun. Now, time to show you how this is really played, Madoka-chan."

Homura looked to her partner. "I'll make sure she won't touch you."

Madoka smiled warmly at her. "Awww...it's just a game, you don't have to-"

"It is my obligation!" The black-haired girl snapped a little too forcefully.

The game started, and this time, everyone knew the other teams were legitimate threats. Kyoko and Sayaka knew the weakest link was Madoka, and so Link and Robin made a beeline for Pit, only to be fended off with Lucina's Swordbreaker.

"Dammit, Homura!" Kyoko complained. "How much damage does that stupid thing do, a thousand?!"  
"Fifteen percent at maximum charge," the time-traveller responded matter-of-factly.

Meanwhile, Mami's Kirby swallowed Robin and took her Thunder power, before blasting her off-stage with a Thoron.

"HOW IN THE NAME OF GOD IS THAT FAIR GHANLDGM" The redhead seethed, all but frothing at the mouth.

"Sheesh, Kyoko, calm down!" Sayaka cautioned her partner.

Mami smirked. "Just the way it works."

Meanwhile, Pit reflected an arrow from Link into him, injuring Link slightly and opening him for a Dancing Blade, an opportunity Homura took carefully.

Sayaka mashed the shield button, countering and sliding past each thrust. "Can't catch me, Homura~"

"Think again, Miki."

Lucina whirled around and smashed Link offstage. Kyoko blanched.

"Dammit! Now those two'll get the cake!"

"N-not if I have something to say about it" Mami declared, before having Kirby smash into Pit from above as a stone, only for-

"Nope."

Lucina suddenly had one of the Gust Bellows items in her hand and blew Kirby off the stage in Stone form.

Mami broke it too late to see Kirby cross the blast line, granting the win to Madoka and Homura.

"Yay! We win!" Madoka cheered happily, hugging Homura tightly. "Now we get to eat cake together! Everyone can have a slice!"

Homura twitched slightly. "G-ggh..."

Mami closed her eyes and sighed, resigned to her defeat. "Well, good game, Madoka-chan. Good game."

Sayaka cringed. "I think Homura's in a state of ecstasy from Madoka hugging her..."

"...eh." Kyoko shrugged. "Long as I get fed."

"Homura is one step short of breaking decency laws and you care more about getting food?!"  
"Sayaka, you've been with me for two years, how are you _not_ used to this yet?"

And so, a fun afternoon at Mami's place began with victory cake.

* * *

**END**

* * *

**A/N: C****urious fact, but I DO actually have a Mii Gunner called 'Mami Tomoe' designed specifically to resemble her. **

**She is surprisingly crap.**

**Welp, that's that. Next chapter, Homura Reacts to Mary Sues! Oh dear, how **_**will **_**this end?!**

**Also, Kyubey. That is all.**

**So, I hope you enjoyed that, leave your ideas, comments, suggestions, criticisms, reviews and thoughts, and I hope you have a GREAT day! Until next time!**


	4. Homura Reacts to Mary Sues!

**Homura Reacts to Mary Sues!**

**A/N: Welcome, one and all, to Homura Reacts! Firstly, dear god this is going to be horrible. Secondly, please run, this is going to be horrible. Thirdly, there MIGHT be a Gaim chapter in future- highly unlikely, though, as I have not much interest in Kamen Rider (only ever watched Blade), whether or not Gen Urobouchi wrote it or not. It depends. I'll see about that.**

**Anyway, let's get this chapter on the road!**

**DISCLAIMER: Puella Magi Madoka Magica belongs to SHAFT, otherwise we'd have an entire spin-off devoted to Hitomi becoming the best boxer in the world.**

**All mentioned franchises and characters belong to their respective owners.**

* * *

"Hm. I brought too light a dye for this task." Homura tutted quietly, sewing some thread into one of Madoka's undershirts. "I see this might-"

"Homura..." Madoka tilted her head. "What is that you're sewing into my clothes?"  
"Kevlar." The time-traveller responded matter-of-factly. "I'm ensuring all of your clothes are bulletproof in case someone wants to assassinate you."  
Madoka's eyes widened and she took a step back from her. "I doubt someone would want to _shoot_ me! I-I didn't anger anyone!"

"Sakura did." Homura muttered darkly. "I am merely taking logical measures to prevent people from targetting you."

Madoka nods, tapping her chin. "That would explain why she doesn't want to go anywhere near Fuyuki City..."

"A _lot_ of things happened in Fuyuki City, Madoka. Things you don't need to know about." Homura responded, shaking her head. "Things that I want to _forget_\- and you know full well how many times I've seen you all being eaten by Witches."

Madoka gulped. "O-oh dear..."

"Indeed-"

"Heeeey, guys!" Mami burst into the room, clutching a laptop in her hand. "We're doing fanfic reading today and there's nothing you can say about it-"

Homura glared at her. "Not _now_, Mami, I'm bulletproofing all of Madoka's clothes!"

"Bulletproof-" The blonde shook her head. "I don't want to know. Anyway, it's time to introduce you to some of the worst kinds of fanfiction since you'll be interacting with your fans-"  
"Since when did you get to decide that?" Homura raised an eyebrow.

"Since I realised that you don't have a life outside Madoka."

"Yeah..." Madoka nodded. "You d-don't have to protect me all the time..."  
"Of course I do." Homura responded brusquely, crossing her arms. "You are always in danger, therefore it is my duty to protect you at all times."

"Even if that involves rooting through her panty cabinet." Mami rolled her eyes. Madoka blushed profusely, shaking her head and stepping back from Homura.

"Y-you what?!"  
"I had to make sure there were no bugs or webcams of any sort in there. You never know what kind of pervert could be watching."

Mami sighed. "Homura, you're hopeless. Anyway, so, since none of you knew what fanfiction was until two days ago, let me explain that not all fanfiction-"  
"-is shamelessly perverted and explicitly designed to embarrass Madoka." Homura completed for her, irritated.

"Well, that _is_ true, but I was about to say wonderful." Mami sighed. "_Some_ people have no idea or concept of limits and write Mary Sues into things."  
"Mary Sue?" Madoka tilted her head. "That doesn't sound too bad."

"You clearly haven't read enough fanfiction yet." Mami retorted. "Those..._literary abominations_ are escapist characters gone wrong.

Uber perfect, designed by their writer to basically be perfect and better than everyone else in every way ever while achieving things that are impossible."

Homura's eyes narrowed. "That so? This already sounds like a threat."  
The upperclassman scoffed. "Relax, the likelihood of one appearing in Mitakihara to steal your beloved Madoka away are extremely low."  
"When you tempt Fate like that, Mami, I somehow lose my confidence in your reassuring words..." The time-traveller remarked, looking away.

"So, are we going to read this fanfic or not?" Mami asked. Madoka shrugged.

"Sure! I haven't got anything else to do today."

"Eh." Homura stood up, putting away her Kevlar thread for now. "Sure, why not. It's not as if I have anything else to do either..."

"Excellent!" Mami clapped happily. "I even brought cake!"  
Madoka cheered. "Caaaake!"

Homura raised an eyebrow. "What is with you and cake? Did Momoe rub off on you?"

"Well, I _was_ going to give it to Kyoko, but Sayaka begged me not to indulge her..." The upperclassman noted.

"I see..."

And reading fanfiction would be where it ended, if this were any other fic.

This is not any other fic.

* * *

_Elsewhere in Mitakihara_...

"Ugh..." A boy, clad in spiked armour and a small familiar buckler shook his head, pulling himself off of the ground.

He had jet black hair which complimented his purple eyes and contrasted with the rainbow –coloured Soul Gem on his left hand, and his powers were unparalleled- as the first and only Puer Magi, he possessed magic abilities far better than any mere Puella Magi. He possessed Sayaka's rapid healing, Kyoko's power of illusion, Mami's manipulation of ribbons and Madoka's crystal arrows. His own power was to blast eye beams at people.

Most importantly, however, he also had Homura's manipulation of time, and he had gone back to save his true love Madoka from being killed at the hands of the evil, evil Homura who clearly wanted her dead, using his knowledge of the disastrous events- from Mami dying to the Witch Charlotte, to Sayaka and Kyoko dying together, and that Kyubey had all tricked them into becoming liches who would inevitably die.

For he was Haruo Akumi, the completely original Puer Magi who was in no way based off of Homura at all, and he was fated to protect Mami, save Sayaka from her horrible fate and save Madoka from the cruel Homura's clutches!

"It seems my time-travel worked. I escaped my grim future..." Haruo clenched his fists, shaking his head. "Homura, you monster...

Don't worry, Madoka and Sayaka, I'm here to save you!"

With that, he sprinted towards the safest place he knew, Sayaka's house. He knew Homura would never suspect him there, surely.

_The Miki Residence..._

"But _whyyyyy_ Sayaka?!" Kyoko pouted and whined at her partner, who turned away and crossed her arms.

"I told you, Kyoko, you _eat too much_."  
"I'm a growing girl!"  
"A growing girl does not need to eat _second breakfast, second lunch and second dinner_ and _dessert with every meal_!" Sayaka snapped irritably.

"Cut me some slack!" Kyoko crossed her arms, snapping right back. "I spent two years on the streets fending for myself!"

"D-don't you _dare_ use the 'poor orphan' excuse on _me_, _Sakura_! It worked _once_!"

Suddenly, the door was kicked down, and Sayaka felt a vein twitch in her temple. She snapped upwards, grabbing a baseball bat in irritation.

"Okay, Homura, that's the _second time this week_ you've kicked down my door-" Sayaka stopped when she realised it was a boy.

Specifically, a boy with a Soul Gem, in Puella Magi- or was it Puello Magi? Sayaka didn't know what to call it-form. He stared at her.

"Sayaka! I...you have to come with me! Quickly! It's not safe!"  
"Safe? What the hell?"

"Yeah, what's your problem?" Kyoko stood up, folding her arms. "The hell?! You've got magic powers? You're a guy!"  
"I'm the first and only Puer Magi, Haruo Akumi!" Haruo declared. "And I'm going to warn you both, you are going to die!"

"Die?" Sayaka raised an eyebrow. "What the hell are you talking about?!"

"This guy drunk or something? Only girls can become magical girls!" The redhead remarked.

"Sayaka, in two days, you become a magical girl-"  
"Oh, like this?" Sayaka flourished her Soul Gem and transformed. Haruo blanched.

"Oh god, it's worse than I thought! Well...Sayaka, please, you have to listen! Hitomi is in love with Kamijou!"

Sayaka stared at him. "Wait, how do you know Hitomi and Kamijou are a couple?"

"...you're not...what?"

Kyoko stared at him strangely. "They've been together for a month now. What the hell are you playing at?"

"Well, Kyubey tricked you all-"  
"Oh, like turning into liches?" Kyoko shrugged. "Yeah, Mami and Homura did something about that one."

Sayaka nodded in assent. "Why do you think Kyubey's nowhere near here anymore?"

"...well, Homura's evil!" Haruo declared. "And I need you two to help me defeat her! Quickly, before it's too late!"

"Now, hang on just a second!" Sayaka spawned a cutlass in her hand. "Now, Akemi's a bit rough around the edges, but I'm not going to try to kill her because some stranger trying to warn me off things that we already averted tells me she's evil!

She's mean, obsessed with Madoka and has terrible fashion sense, but she is _not_ evil!"

"Madoka's not safe!" Haruo complained. "Why won't you listen?! Dammit, Homura's brainwashed you, hasn't she?!"

Kyoko scoffed. "Brainwashed?! As if!"  
_'It's worse than I thought. Homura beat me to this timeline..._' Haruo mentally concluded. _'I have to beat sense into their heads! That's the only way I can fix this!_

_Don't worry, Madoka, I can save you!_'

"Sayaka, Kyoko, I'm sorry, but I'm going to have to defeat you if it means protecting Madoka!"

He slung a yellow ribbon at Sayaka, hoping to catch her off guard and tie her up, only for the blunette to, in a deft movement, slash the ribbon in half, spawn a second one in her free hand and dash to his front, placing her sword barely a hair's breadth from his neck.

Sayaka inquired. "Okay, just who _are_ you? What are you doing kicking down _my_ door, telling me about this and trying to kill Homura?!"

The boy responded by blasting her with an crimson laser from his eyes, which Sayaka dodged with an inhumanly fast duck, before sweeping her leg underneath him and forcing him onto the floor, where she pointed her sword at him.

"Now you just scorched my wall! You gonna pay for that?!"

"U-ugh! Sayaka! You have to believe me!" The Puer Magi complained. "You just have to! I'm perfect and-"  
"Just _shut up_!" Kyoko snapped angrily. "You sound like a complete _prick_! Seriously, it's like you were _written_ to be uber-perfect just to piss us all off!"

'_Dammit! I'm pinned...I'll have to stop time to escape and get loose of this..._" Haruo closed his eyes and vanished from underneath Sayaka.

"...dammit." She lowered her sword. "He just pulled a Homura, didn't he."

"Ugh." The redhead shifted into her own Puella Magi form, grabbing her spear. "We're gonna have to go after him.

He's probably going to Madoka's house next. He's making all this talk about protecting Madoka..."  
"It's like he ripped off Homura or something, the way he sounded." The blunette muttered as she took care to prop of the broken door onto the wall inside, sighing.

"Right down to the eyes and the time shenanigans." Kyoko whistled as she sat back down. "Although how he had Mami and Homura's powers, I'll never guess...

Think we should go after him?"

Sayaka shook her head. "Nah. He seems like a complete joke anyway."

* * *

_Meanwhile, at the Kaname Residence_...

"And that is how a Mary Sue operates." Mami shut her laptop. Homura twitched.

"If _one _of those attempts to go after Madoka, I fear I may have to terminate him with _extreme prejudice_." Homura muttered.

"Y-you don't have to be so threatening..." Madoka whimpered, huddling up to her. "W-what are the chances of that actually happening?"  
"An overly-perfect boy who expects everyone to fall for his charms and is special and stuff?" Mami scoffed. "...well, actually...it could happen. She has a point."  
"For once, you agree with me." Homura raised an eyebrow, curious. "I wonder why-"

Suddenly, the window broke, as a boy in spiked purple armor, a Soul Gem on his hand and two Desert Eagles, one in each hand, jumped in, pointing both of them at Homura.

"You..." He declared, glaring at her. "You are going to get away from Madoka! I'm going to save her!"  
"Oh dear." Mami chuckled. "It seems our wish came true."  
"Mami-san, you don't know what you're dealing with here! You're going to die to-"  
"Charlotte? You mean Nagisa Momoe?" Mami raised an eyebrow. "Yes, I know. I did something about that, and the girl in question currently lives with me."

"...just what kind of world did I get thrown into?!" Haruo complained. "Ugh...that's it! This is all just a test by Homura, to see if my resolve is true?"  
"Test?" Madoka looked confusedly between both of them. "I don't know if..."

"Homura, I am going to defeat you to save Mado-"

Haruo didn't even finish the sentence before Homura engaged her buckler, stopping time.

'_Two can play at that game!'_ Haruo mentally declared, before engaging his own buckler, entering the time-stop alongside Homura.

"As I thought." The time-traveller glared at him. "So. You're also the first and only Puer Magi, aren't you?"

"Spare me that talk. Madoka is _mine_ and I, Haruo Akumi, will have her!"

'_Madoka...is his? No._' Homura's glare intensified. _'Madoka is __**mine**__. Nobody can have her._

_I'm just going to have to show this __**usurper**__ what happens to people who dare question that._'

"...I don't quite think so. With a fluid, almost graceful movement, the black-haired girl whipped out a baseball bat from her buckler and swung at his head. Haruo ducked the attack easily, but that left him open to a knee strike to the head as Homura brought her leg up to do so, twisting his body aside from the blow and exposing his body.

Homura finished off by clubbing him in the groin with the bat, reducing him to a screaming boy on the floor as he clutched his groin, ending his timestop just as Homura's own concluded.

"Save me?!" Madoka looked surprised. "F-from...oh." She stared at the boy on the floor, who was keeling over with pain.

"Ow..."

Mami whistled sympathetically. "Ouch. Homura, you play dirty."

"He was going to take Madoka." Homura muttered, still glaring at him. "That is not permissible."

"Ugh..." Haruo felt his magic heal his injuries, before he pulled himself up, ready for a second round...or a retreat, a retreat which meant he might be able to negotiate more favourable terms for himself.

He grabbed Madoka by the forearm. "I'll just have to take her with me! You won't dare hurt me, Homura, not if I have her!"

Homura clenched her teeth, whipping out a Uzi and aiming at his head. "Let go of her!"

"Keep it _down_, you morons!"

"Hu-" The Puer Magi, rather suddenly, was knocked out with an open palm slap to the back of the head. He relinquished the pinkette before falling forwards, murmuring in his sleep.

Mami and Homura simultaneously stared at him in shock, before looking to see the perpetrator.

He slumped to the floor to reveal Junko Kaname in her pajamas, a blanket still draped over her right shoulder, her arm raised in irritation.

Homura stared at her. "Mrs...Kaname?"  
"...you people better keep it down." The woman muttered darkly. "Orr I'll do to you what I just did to him. Now, if you excuse me, _good day_." With that, she strolled back downstairs, muttering to herself and swaying slightly.

"...that was...rather easy." Mami stared disappointedly at the knocked-out Sue. "Too easy."  
"...he was trying to kidnap me..." Madoka shuddered. Homura shook her head.

"He deserved every piece of comeuppance he got from me."

Mami sighed, picking up the unconscious Sue. "Well, I know a place where we can get rid of him without troubling us. Just...enjoy the rest of your afternoon, I guess."

With that, she walked out of the room, and so began a usual afternoon at the Kaname residence.

* * *

**END**

* * *

**A/N: Alright, next chapter, since I forgot, Homura Reacts to Kink Memes! **_**This**_** time, we'll have a Kyubey (he didn't really fit in this chapter at all).**

**So, I hope you enjoyed that, leave your ideas, comments, criticisms, reviews, suggestions, reviews and thoughts, and I hope you have a GREAT day! Until next time!**


	5. Homura Reacts to Kink Memes!

**Homura Reacts to Kink Memes!**

**A/N: Welcome, one and all, to Homura Reacts! Yes, this crap is still alive- updating once a week- and today, we'll be covering the wonderful side of the fandom known as kink memes! Yes, Madoka Magica has one. What a kink meme **_**is**_** will be explained in the chapter to keep this author's note short.**

**...although a quick search through the interwebs will probably reveal more than you ever want to know.**

**DISCLAIMER: Madoka Magica belongs to SHAFT, otherwise Mami would be in a maid costume.**

**All mentioned characters and franchises belong to their respective owners.**

**No stories featured are intended to resemble actual stories. Any coincidence is entirely coincidental.**

* * *

"_Listen, Madoka. The problem isn't so simple-"_

"_Hm!"_

"_Mmph!"_

"_W-what did you make us do that for?!"_

"_Muginami will rejoin the Jersey Club!"_

Homura fed a spoon of chocolate ice cream into her mouth- a luxury she had been unable to avail herself of during her loops- and lounged on her couch in the room Madoka's mother had assigned her, ostensibly for her to sleep in, while watching some anime-she swore it was called _Lagrange_ or something. Mami probably knew what it was, with all her experience with the world.

She looked jealously at the screen, watching the girls kiss- or rather, have their faces pushed together. It was close enough for Homura- close enough for her desperation fulfilment needs.

"Madoka..." Homura sighed, stuffing herself with more ice cream. "If only w-we could do that..."

The time-traveller put two fingers to her lips, taking another spoonful of chocolate ice cream.

"...I guess this _anime_ that Mami puts so much stock in has it's..._uses_..." Homura, for a moment, entertained the image of a blushing Madoka, moving towards her with her soft, pink lips, slightly open as she-

Junko's voice, however, jolted Homura's eyes open as she was shaken from her blissful fantasy. She could hear Madoka's mother from the front door, specifically.

"Oh! Mami! How nice of you to drop by! Are you here to see Madoka?"  
"Well, I was here to see Homura and Madoka. Thank you, Mrs Kaname."

"Homura's room is directly under the stairs. First door to the right."

Homura sighed, covering her jar of ice cream and looking longingly at the screen. She shook her head slowly.

"So much for a peaceful day..."

Mami burst in, her aviator glasses and scarf in place, but a light yellow dress in place of her usual clothing. She was chuckling to herself as she looked around the room.

"Oh, Hoooomura!"  
"Yes?" The time traveller gave her a deadpan glare.  
"I have to show you something absolutely wonderful, and we're all going to _my_ house to see it!"  
Homura shook her head. "I think no-"

Before she could completely protest, Mami grabbed her hand and dragged her into the light. Homura's eyes narrowed as she adjusted to the brighter light of the rest of the Kaname household- and the world- as she struggled against her elder's grip.

"M-Mami!"  
"Relax!" The blonde reminded her. "This is healthier than fantasising over kissing Madoka! Which I think you do anyway."  
_"_What I do with Madoka is none of your business!" Homura snapped.

"As your upperclassman, I have to be responsible for you to make sure you aren't doing something, _ahem_, unsavoury..." Mami pointed out helpfully. "And also, _you need to get out of the house more_."

"I'm perfectly fine!"

"The last time you went out was during the Haruo incident. Which was a week ago." Mami reminded her, somewhat exasperated. "Madoka does not need your protection twenty-four seven- besides, her mother's proven herself to be more than a match for you."

Homura glared at her darkly. "You don't need to remind me."

"Anyway, point is, you're not staying inside the Kaname residence for the rest of your life. Now come on! I'm bringing Madoka anyway, so you're not protecting her here."

Homura weighed her options for escaping this.

She _could_ try subduing Mami with her time stops, but Mami would probably find some way of managing to move in her bubble of stopped time. Psychological manipulation, likewise, would probably result in Mami utterly lacking, as Kyoko put it, the "craps to give", and would get her dragged off anyway. Physically overcoming Mami, likewise, was very unlikely- she was one of the strongest magical girls in terms of physique, to the point that Kyoko and Sayaka combined were simply thrown around like ragdolls.

And her final option, bribery by cake, didn't seem too appealing, especially since Homura lacked an appropriate offering.

The time-traveller sighed. Despite her ability to manipulate time and alter fate to her liking, this was one fate she would not be escaping.

"...fine." Homura exhaled. "But at least give me the chance to change into something _appropriate_."

"Yeah, a nightrobe is somewhat less appropriate for going out, no?" Mami smiled helpfully. "What exactly were you doing, anyway?"

Homura's eyes narrowed.

"Shut up, _Tomoe_. What I do during my spare time is none of your business."

* * *

_Later, at the Tomoe Residence…._

Mami finally relinquished her grip on Homura's arm, as Madoka shyly trailed behind.

"W-what are you going to show us, anyway?" The pinkette inquired curiously. The upperclassman merely gave her a smile.

"Oh, just more fanfiction."  
Homura grumbled. "I can't believe you dragged me to the other side of town just to show me more fanfiction.

If I wanted to read those, I have a perfectly serviceable-"

"_Homura_."

"Y-yes, Mami." The time-traveller stood up straight.

"Excellent. Now-" Mami stepped over to her door when she almost tripped, managing to catch herself onto the doorframe.

"Mami!" Madoka reached out for her. "Are you alright?"  
"Yeah, just tripped on something." She looked down to see a large, plain brown package.

"Huh? Who's 'T. Aisaka' and why would they be sending me a package? And why's there no return address?"

Homura regarded the package suspiciously. "I don't know. Don't open it."

"But-"

"It might be a bomb." The time traveller produced a handgun, pointing it at the package. "Don't worry. I can defuse it."  
"By shooting it?"

"I can stop time, remember?"

Luckily, the threat of the package was heavily reduced when a battered, bruised white-furred head poked its way out of the box, its long flaps scratched and bruised and one ear missing a chunk.

"...oh. It's just Kyubey." Madoka shrugged, before waving at it.

"Even worse than a bomb." Homura adjusted her aim for the Incubator's eye. "I'll see to it-"

"Please, try not to get blood all over my door, Homura." Mami sighed, plucking Kyubey from the box and carried it in her arms tightly. "Come on, I'll get you cleaned up."

"That would be desirable, Mami." The Incubator responded in its high-pitched voice.

Homura stared at her. "You keep that thing as a _pet_?!"

"I housebroke him!" Mami protested. "Besides, it'd be a waste. He'd just get killed off if I let him go back to Incubator Planet after what we _did_ to them…"

"What _did_ we do to them?" Madoka tilted her head. "I don't remember-"  
The time-traveller waved her off. "I'll tell you when you're thirty."

"But-"

"Thirty. This isn't a negotiation."

…..

_Fifteen minutes later…._

"So, a friend of mine on one of the various Madoka Magica forums told me about this thing called a 'kink meme'." Mami explained. Madoka tilted her head, taking a small bite from the slice of cheesecake their upperclassman had given her and Homura.

"We have forums about us?"

"How else do you expect our loving fans to talk about us?"  
"They can be as loving as they want to be, but Madoka is off limits." Homura declared darkly. "Continue."

"A kink meme is basically a place where people can request fanfics and have people fill their requests. Pretty nifty, huh?"

Kyubey, smelling faintly of lemon soap, clambered onto the table and tilted its head at the screen. "The fact that humans can derive entertainment from nothing but text is a concept that escapes me."

"Emotion is apparently one of those things that escapes you." Homura remarked darkly.

"Hey! No arguing!" Mami wagged her finger warningly. "It's rude. It's not his fault that he can't feel emotion!"  
"Are you _siding _with him?!"

"It's my responsibility to care. We _did _basically get him evicted from house and home." The blonde pointed out. "Anyway, I want you guys to know what a kink meme is because you're going to eventually run into your fans and I want you people to get used to that!"  
"The more you say that, the more I think it's just an excuse for you to drag us over to your house because you're lonely…." Madoka pointed out helplessly, but sighing, she let Mami go onto a website for the aforementioned kink meme.

It was relatively sparse, with line upon line of blue text and a small introduction introducing the kink meme. Homura noted, however, that there was a small warning underneath the introduction.

"NSFW?"  
"...you'll see." Mami winked, causing the time traveller to simultaneously begin silently panicking and plotting her upperclassman's death by strangulation.

A fair precaution, considering the last couple of times Mami had 'tried' to introduce her to the real world.

"That's….err….a lot of requests…" Madoka noted shyly, staring at the screen and scanning it. "...c-can we look at this one? It looks interesting."

Mami tilted her head at it. "Boy!Homura x Madoka…..hm…..this looks innocent enough."

Homura shifted uncomfortably. _'At least it's still me_.'

"Y-yeah!" Madoka nodded quickly, blushing. "I-I mean….i-it can't be that bad, right?"

"Tch. Fine." Homura remarked tartly. "If Madoka approves of it, then I will tolerate it."

Mami smiled. "See? It won't be that bad!"

* * *

_One minute later…._

Kyubey stared at the screen. If the Incubator could facepalm in exasperation, it would.

"You humans are hopeless. Utterly hopeless."

Madoka tilted her head at the screen. "...Homura, what am I doing to you here?"

Homura twitched, a trail of blood slowly seeping down from her nose. She held a hand in front of her protectorate's eyes.

"...you….don't need to know….what that is. Mami, can you get Madoka outside?"

Mami gave her a stern look. "You are _not_ blowing up my computer because someone-"

"Wrote you screwing Madoka's brains out." Kyoko pointed out as brusquely as possible.

Homura threw a sharp glare at her. "_Sakura_. When did you get here?"  
"I went over here an hour ago with Sayaka." The redhead shrugged. "I wanted to mooch some cake off of her."

"A job you've been excellent at." Mami remarked without missing a beat. Kyoko chuckled.

"Heh, nice one."  
"You know it. Now, Sayaka's probably going to get out of the bathroom soon, I'm going to grab some cake and go watch you guys read more MadoHomu smut."

"MadoHomu?!" Homura blanched. "You mean there's a _name_ for this abomination?!"

Kyoko shrugged, ignoring her. "Also Mami, you gave Kyubey a bath?"  
"The circumstances under which I was mailed back to Mami's residence were very unsanitary." The Incubator made a motion with its haunches Kyoko interpreted as shrugging.

"Huh. 'Kay, I'll go grab some cake now."

As Kyoko walked out, Homura gave her a strange look. "So...none of you care that this creature-"  
"Put us into Faustian contracts, nearly turned us into undead monsters that the likes of Hideaki Anno could never imagine and did it all for the good of the universe." Mami nodded. "I know that full well.

However, it's less of a risk to keep him with us, where we can make sure he doesn't try anything, than try to get rid of him, like Kyoko did."  
"That explains why he was mailed back to you..." Homura sighed. "Sound logic...but if he tries anything on Madoka, I will make sure there is not a trace of Incubator flesh left on this earth, you understand me?"

"No need." Kyubey tilted its head. "She already contracted. As far as I'm concerned, I can't do anything more. And you humans are far more interesting, now that you succeeded in-"  
"_Kyubey_. Not allowed to talk about the incident in front of Madoka." Mami warned it.

"Right."

Kyoko walked back in, a plate of cake in her lap. "Alright, what're we looking at here?"

"A kink meme. Fanfic requests, you know?" Mami explained. Kyoko chuckled.

"Explains why Homura was screwing Madoka's brains out." The redhead whistled, while the aforementioned time traveller glared at her.

"Watch your tongue! Madoka's too innocent to know what that is!"

"Oh, come off it, bluenose. Not like she's not going to find out what that is, with _you_ around."

Mami sighed. "Girls, no fighting in my apartment or I'll have to _punish_ both of you, okay?"

Homura and Kyoko immediately shut up at the mention of _punishment_. The last time Mami had to _punish_ someone, it was Kyoko and everyone who wasn't Madoka saw it.

Kyoko was sore for the next week. She wasn't eager to have it happen again- and Homura eager not to have it done to her.

Mami smiled, satisfied.

"Excellent. Now, to read this next fill...ooooh, I like this one!"

Kyoko tilted her head. "What's tha-oh, how very _funny_, Mami." She gave her friend a deadpan glare.

Homura blanched. "...me and Sakura? Pfft. Even less likely than me and Miki doing something like that."  
"You just want to save yourself _all_ for Madoka, don't you?"

Madoka tilted her head. "Huh? What does that mean, Kyoko?"

"Never you mind, you'll find out eventually." Kyoko chuckled. Mami rolled her eyes, exasperated.

"You talk like a boorish pervert, you know that?"

"I grew up on the streets, leave me alone."

Mami read the fill carefully, giggling. "Oh dear. Doing something like _that_ along a wall, screaming Sayaka and Madoka's names? My, my."

"S-Sayaka?!" Kyoko blushed profusely. "N-no way. H-her?! S-she's just my roomie. Don't kid yourself!"

"Tch. How unprofessionally written." Homura rolled her eyes. "Corny and unrealistic."

"The next fill's about you and Madoka, Homura."  
The black-haired girl leapt out of her chair and started shaking Mami by the shoulders.

"SHOW ME IMMEDIATELY"

Madoka was taken aback. "W-wow! H-Homura...y-you're e-enthusiastic about it s-suddenly..."

Kyubey made a noise Kyoko swore sounded exactly like an irritated sigh. "Hopeless."

"That was more professionally written than the other stories thus far." Homura commented, wiping the blood from her nose.

"That had no capital letters, no full stops and it sounded more like crappy porn than an actual story." Kyoko scoffed. "Lame."

Mami giggled. "Is the only reason you read that because you weren't on the bottom?"

"...what is _that_ supposed to mean?!" Homura snapped.

"I can see why- I mean-"  
"Just read the fills. I've been _persuaded_ to keep the creator of this immoral, dirty website alive, so do not try my patience." The time traveller muttered angrily.

Sayaka walked up from behind them, leaning over to watch the screen. "What are you guys do...ing.

No. No no no no no!" The blunette began to back away, but Mami grabbed her hand, pulling her into a spare chair.

"No, Sayaka, you get to enjoy it with us too, now have a seat!"  
"No, I know what these things are, and I want no part of it!" Sayaka shook her head rigorously. "Absolutely _not_!"

"Just go with it." Homura sighed. "You know Mami well enough. She'll never let you escape, Miki."

* * *

"Next fill, Sayaka and Kyoko! On a...balcony! Wow."

"...K-KYOKO?!"  
"SAYAKA?!"

"Her?!" Sayaka blushed, shaking her head. "I-I mean...I-I d-don't _mind_ girls at all, b-but no way!"  
"Y-yeah!" Kyoko nodded in agreement. "T-that moron's f-far too much o-of a clean freak! And h-her laugh is s-so annoying, I-I mean...I-I can't get it out of my head!"

Mami raised an eyebrow at that, but skipped to the next fill.

"Alright, the next one...wow...Homura and one of her fangirls, pretending to be Madoka." Mami nodded slowly. "Wow. I can't say that's not accurate."  
Kyubey blinked. "Wait. Homura can have the real Madoka whenever she pleases due to her time manipulation powers. Why would she need to have a fangirl substitute?"  
"Morality and crap." Kyoko shrugged. "I gave up on that crap, and you'd never understand it."

"I don't."

Homura scoffed. "Tch. Inaccurate. As we know, there can be no substitute for Madoka."

Mami chuckled. "Very well...and this next one here...wow. Madoka with a whip and a-Homura? Homura...she fainted."

Indeed, the time traveller was on the floor, her eyes glazed over, her nose trailing blood and her limbs twitching. She had a blissful expression on her face.

Kyoko rolled her eyes. "Wow. Too much for her to handle."

"H-Homura?" Madoka knelt next to her, checking her pulse.

Sayaka facepalmed. "Pervert..."

Kyubey swished its tail, stalking off. "Well, I guess that puts an end to our study into human libido."

Mami sighed, frowning and tutting as Madoka and an irritated Sayaka picked up Homura and brought her to a couch in her living room.

"I guess that does."

Thankfully, Madoka did not ask what the whip was for. It was better she didn't.

* * *

**END**

* * *

**A/N: So, next chapter, Homura Reacts to Meduka Meguca! Why? Because it's the funniest abridged series of this one I've seen. And yes, it's an abridged series for the unaware, not just a meme.**

**So, I hope you enjoyed that, leave your ideas, comments, suggestions, reviews, criticisms and thoughts, and I hope you have a GREAT day! Until next time!**


	6. Homura Reacts to Madoka Magica, Part 1!

**Homura Reacts to Puella Magi Madoka Magica, Part 1!**

**A/N: Welcome, one and all, to Homura Reacts! Surprise, bishes, we're actually reacting to the REAL series now! I decided that it made more sense to get this one out of the way while we can, and because many of the jokes in Meduka Meguca wouldn't make sense to our unfortunate heroes if they hadn't watched the actual anime. So, let's do it!**

**DISCLAIMER: Puella Magi Madoka Magica belongs to SHAFT, otherwise there would be a giant Kyubey just so Kyoko could beat the crap out of it.**

**All mentioned franchises and characters belong to their respective creators.**

* * *

"I still don't understand why I can't just eat this in my room." Homura muttered, shifting uncomfortably at the lunch table. Sunlight was pouring into the Kaname house's windows and over the table, where the Kaname family was having their lunch at the usual time. Madoka and Homura were seated next to each other, with the former digging into her plate with gusto.

Junko frowned. "Homura, as you know, you live with us now."  
"But the table in my room is perfectly serviceable." The girl responded.

"And living with us means you have to follow certain rules. And besides, you wouldn't get to sit next to Madoka if you didn't eat with us." Junko pointed out, shrugging. Homura merely shrugged right back.

"There's no reason why I can't just ask her to eat with me."

"_Homura_." Junko sighed, rubbing her temples as Tomohisa rubbed her shoulder, chuckling.

"Dear, she's just unused to doing this."

Madoka frowned at her neighbour. "You should eat with our family more, you know. You do live with us now..."

Homura gave her a deadpan look. "You know I'm not overly fond of social gatherings."

"It's my parents and my little brother." The pinkette reminded her. "What do you think's going to happen? They're not going to try to do something horrible."

"We live in a world of infinite possibilities." Homura pointed out matter-of-factly. "Perhaps that might happen."

Junko's eyes narrowed. "Don't be silly."

"Besides, mom would probably beat them up or something!" Madoka reassured Homura, smiling.

"I somehow highly doubt your mother possesses the-"

The doorbell rang suddenly. Tatsuya, Madoka's little brother, waved his little arm around.

"I'll get it!" He left his chair and ran to the door to open it. The door was opened shortly afterwards, with two voices that irritated Homura following.

"Oh! Hey, little bud!"

"Hello, Tatsuya. Are we bothering you?"

Homura's eyes narrowed. "Miki and Sakura...why are _they_ here?"  
"I invited them, silly." Madoka chuckled.

"Why? Why do they need to be here? What are you planning?" Homura glared at Madoka. "Is there something you're not telling me?"

"N-no!" Madoka flailed around. "W-why would I keep anything a secret from you?!"

Mami's voice sounded out from the doorway. "Hey, guys! Wait up!"

"And Tomoe, too?" The time-traveller raised an eyebrow.

"She's having her apartment fumigated!" Madoka protested. Homura pinched the bridge of her nose.

"If she didn't keep so much cake and pastries in her apartment, then there wouldn't be so many insects in it."

Junko sighed. "Very well, Madoka. You can go back upstairs. Just remember not to make too much of a mess, okay?"  
Homura raised her finger. "Am I excused, Junko?"  
"No. You need to finish your vegetables first. You need to get healthier."  
"But-"  
"_Homura_."

"...Fine." The girl grumbled, scooping up more peas into her mouth. She mused briefly as she rolled the peas into her mouth, watching Madoka walk upstairs followed by Sayaka and Kyoko.

'_I went back in time, fought god-like abominations and other creatures for the sake of this woman's daughter, and my price is being made to eat peas._

_...I suppose there are worse things that could happen to me._

_I could end up living with Miki.'_

* * *

_In Madoka's bedroom..._

"Phew." Kyoko whistled, clapping as she kicked back and relaxed on Madoka's bed. "Better than my bed, since _Sayaka_ here won't give me more than a crappy rattan mat for a bed."  
"Because you keep getting _cake crumbs all over __**my**__ bed_ whenever you decide to use it for naps!" Sayaka retorted. "At least a rattan mat's easier to clean of crumbs!"

Kyoko looked offended. "You know I can't help it! I just like eating!"

"Remember when Mami said you needed therapy? I can see why. You have a food addiction!"

The redhead glared at her. "I do_ not_! I just appreciate food like any other normal human being does!"

Homura leaned next to the wall, grumbling. "Just do what you people are here for and get out quickly.

Especially _you_." She glared over at Kyubey, who tilted its head.

"I can leave now, if you like."  
Mami pouted. "Why can't I bring him here again?"  
Homura's eyes narrowed. "I'm fine with you keeping that _creature_ in your apartment, but why did you bring it here?"  
"I'm not going to leave him in a room that's about to get fumigated!" Mami protested. "And how do you expect me to explain him to the landlord? It's not like I'm going to tell him 'oh, hey, I'm keeping an alien bunnycat' as a pet!"

Homura looked aside. "That can be arranged."

Mami folded her arms, sighing and shaking her head."Homura, we are not using threats and time-stops to convince my landlord that Kyubey's a mindless pet. He talks too much anyway."

"I assure you, Miss Tomoe, that my vocalisations are not as numerous as you describe." Kyubey pointed out helpfully.

Madoka looked around the room, chuckling nervously. "S-So guys, what do you want to do?"

"Got any grub?" Kyoko inquired hopefully, earning a slap on the back of the head by Sayaka.

"Sayaka! Hey!"

"Rude..."

Mami rubbed her chin. "Supposedly, there's an anime about us."

"What, seriously?" Kyoko raised an eyebrow. "They better not have given me a crappy voice there, or someone's gonna get stabbed!"

Homura looked confused. "So...how, remind me, are we still secret to the world at all if our exploits are out there for everyone to see?"  
"You know what they say; the best way to keep something secret is to tell people all about it_._" Mami stated with a chuckle, winking at her.

Sayaka looked confusedly at her. "Wait, you _told_ someone about magic? Mami, you know that's going to get us mobbed, right?"  
"Relax." Mami shrugged. "I didn't tell him everything. The anime's inaccurate enough that people won't think to look for us."

Kyoko grumbled. "That sucks. I was looking forward to having fangirls try to nab my autograph or something."

Homura twitched. "Did you say fangirls?"

"Yeah, why-"

"Mami, who made this anime and where can I find them so I can neutralise them before they threaten Madoka's safety?"

Mami sighed, shaking her head. "Homura, you are not hunting down Studio SHAFT because they made some people fans of Madoka.

They don't even know where we live anyway, and you remember those weird girls at the convention thought we were cosplayers. It'll be easy to escape attention. Hide in plain sight!"

"...you know, that is a genius plan." Sayaka nodded. "I'm surprised you didn't think of that, Homura..."

"...fine." The time traveller shut her eyes and clenched her fists. "I won't attempt to neutralise them.

But if I see one fan getting anywhere near Madoka, Tomoe, and I will have to do my best to prevent any _more_."

Madoka frowned. "But what if they want to say hi?"  
"They could be trying to brainwash you." Homura stated flatly.

"B-brainwash me? W-why?"

Mami cupped her hand over Homura's mouth, managing to keep her arms pinned down with her free hand. "D-don't listen to her, she's just being silly."  
"Mmmpmph!" The black-haired girl struggled in the grip of her stronger elder, indignant at being silenced.

Madoka nodded slowly. "Oh. Okay."

Kyoko whipped out a box of Pocky and took one stick out, offering one to Sayaka. "Well? Let's get watching then! I want to see what kinda crap Mami told them about us!"

* * *

Sayaka blinked at the beginning. "This is trippy...wait a minute, Madoka, didn't you tell me you had a dream like this?"

"I think I did..." The pinkette tapped her chin, trying to recall what had happened.

"...ahahaha!" Kyoko laughed. "Homura, you got absolutely _owned_!"

Homura merely shot her an irritated glare before continuing to watch silently.

"I remember having this dream!" Madoka snapped her fingers. "It wasn't that long ago, was it?"

"Five months ago." Mami recalled, nodding in agreement. "Really wasn't that long ago. Not really."

Homura nodded. "So...you did dream about me. Interesting, Madoka. Perhaps my time-travelling had an unintentional effect on your mind..." She smiled a little. "Excellent..."  
"W-what?!" Madoka clutched her temples. "W-what do you mean?"

"Nothing."

"Damn straight that was a crazy dream!" Kyoko yelled. "What the hell, why's Kyubey in your dream?!"

Kyubey tilted its head. "I must admit, that is unusual."

The time traveller grumbled. "D-don't just show up in Madoka's dreams like that!"

"It was not my fault Ms. Kaname's mind visualized me in her dream state." The Incubator seemed to sigh.  
"Good god, you're jealous of a bunny-cat thing." Sayaka facepalmed irritably. "Hopeless moron..."

"S-shut up, Miki! Nobody asked your opinion!" Homura snapped.

Kyoko chuckled. "I know the feeling. Junko ain't much of a morning person, eh?"  
"Kyoko, have some respect. Call her Ms. Kaname!" Sayaka berated her.

"I'll have some more respect when you don't pull that crap like what Madoka's doing there! Seriously, a girl needs her sleep, y'know..." The red-haired girl shook her head, grumbling.

"Remind me, why does Hitomi get all the attention?" Mami complained at the discussion. "I-I told him to make _me_ look popular!"

Homura's eyes narrowed. "You narcissist."

"A girl has to indulge herself from time to time!"

Madoka frowned at the next stage. "Mami, did you really have to tell them about Ms. Saotome's boy problems?"

"Like I said, the best way to make people think something's fake is to tell them all about it." Mami shrugged.

Kyoko grinned. "Ah, trying to make poor Kazuko suffer? I see."

"I don't know what you're talking about. I'm nowhere near that immature. I just tell the truth." The upperclassman shrugged.

Homura glared at Mami. "I see you also told this contact of yours about Madoka's tastes in ribbons...and secret admirers?

Tomoe, are you trying to give me a heart attack?"

"Well, our protagonist has to be popular, after all." Mami shrugged casually. Kyoko nodded.

"And besides, Madoka's the perfect loli bait!"  
"I am?" Madoka raised an eyebrow, confused. "What's a loli?"  
Homura flicked Kyoko in the ear angrily, causing the girl to clutch her ear in pain, before turning to Madoka.

"I'll tell you when you're thirty."  
"W-what?! Why?!"

"It's not safe to tell you. Your innocent mind would be corrupted, and I cannot permit that."

...

"...Miki, if you dare touch Madoka like that here, I will break your fingers." Homura muttered darkly. Sayaka was taken aback.

"W-what? It's just a little tickling!"

Kyoko smirked mischievously. "Hitomi's just staring at you guys...I guess she's just into that kinda stuff."

As the events on screen transpired, Homura turned to Mami. "Your contact really took Ms. Saotome's issues to heart, didn't he...

Complaining about the proper way of cooking eggs...at least you got my portrayal right though."  
"So emo, obsessed with Madoka and quiet unless it involves Madoka?" Sayaka pointed out with a chuckle.

"Miki, _shut up._"

Homura held up a finger. "Wait, how did you even know I went to the nurses' office? I didn't tell you about that incident."

Mami sighed. "You're not the only one with contacts around here, Homura. I know at least three girls who saw that thing going down."

"Stay as you are..." Kyoko whistled suggestively. "A little overdramatic. But I'll bite."

...

"...I do not remember this incident with the utmost fondness." Kyubey muttered. "Ms. Akemi, was it utterly necessary to shoot me so many times? Was it not a waste of energy?"  
"Disposing of you is never a waste of energy." Homura muttered irritably. "Although if only I'd remembered your telepathy..."

Mami raised a finger. "Then you wouldn't be living with Madoka, would you?"

"And how do you even _know_ about this part of the incident? You weren't there!"

"I assisted Ms. Tomoe in telling her contact about the events in our narrative. I felt that if we were to maintain total consistency, then I must fill in her parts where she missed it."  
"You know, so we don't miss anything in lying to people using the truth!" Mami shrugged, grinning.

Homura exhaled. "You're cutting it really close with this, Tomoe."

"It worked perfectly. Do you see any fanboys or fangirls gathered outside this house? No? It's because they don't think we exist." The upperclassman continued grinning. "Don't knock it until you try it, dear."

"Wow." Kyoko looked disdainful of the familiars. "Can't believe you guys faced a bunch of Pringles with moustaches. What a sucky Witch."

Mami laughed at her friend's comments. "Yes...I suppose that's a good word for them...

...and I am proud that this is what they made me into." The upperclassman rubbed her hands. "Although I'm not sure where all that twirling came from. Or why my chest is smaller than it really is."

"I don't recall any of this happening exactly like this." Homura pointed out. "That's not what you said when we met there, you know."  
"Well, I didn't tell him _exactly_ what happened!" Mami scoffed. "Don't be silly. I needed to make up some stuff just to make sure it didn't hew too close to the truth."

"Hey!" Kyoko snapped. "Wait a minute! Where am _I_?!"

"Oh, you don't show up until later. Kyubey insisted."

Kyubey merely tilted its head, looking at the red-haired girl. "I apologise, Ms. Sakura, but it had to be done. Most of your activities until after we defeated Ms. Momoe were insignificant to the telling."

"I-Insignificant?!" Kyoko blanched, before gritting her teeth. "Y-you moron! I'm going to throttle you for that!"  
"I don't see how that would change anything. I do not require oxygen."

Madoka held the furious Kyoko back. "Eheheh! K-Kyoko, calm down! It's just an anime..."

"I-I'm just as significant to this as you four are! W-why don't I get any screentime yet?!"

"First you want a better bed, then more candy." Sayaka rolled her eyes at her friend. "So spoiled, Kyoko..."

* * *

"Now _this_, _this_ I can live with." Mami grinned at her absolutely uncompromisingly awesome introduction. "I'm so awesome."

Homura glared at her. "I bet you even told him that you were the greatest magical girl in history, too.

What a narcissist."  
Mami looked offended. "If I'm going to have to lie about the things I really did, I might as well have a little fun about it!

I'm going to have to talk to these people. This is nothing like my real apartment. My real apartment is far more luxurious!"

Homura rubbed her temples. "The people I choose to associate with are complete morons."

'_All worth it for Madoka, I said. Willing to put up with Miki and Sakura to save Madoka, I said. _

_I'm so stupid._'

"So you lied about _everything else_ but not what Witches are?" Homura inquired, exasperated.

"I'm not going to say what I just said a minute ago, Homura. And besides, not like we didn't basically end Witches during that thing we did."

Sayaka tilted her head. "You know, you keep saying we were there, but we can't remember what happened, Mami. Care to explain?"  
"Sorry, Sayaka. If I could tell you what happened, then I'd tell you, but I have to keep my word." The upperclassman exhaled, shaking her head. "And Homura would kill me for corrupting Madoka's mind."

Kyoko grinned. "Hitomi, dear God. Girls can't love girls, my backside, you jumped to that conclusion yourself.

I guess you told him all about Hitomi too, eh?"  
Mami shrugged. "Well, I left out her kendo skills, too. And the fact she wrecks you and Sayaka in a fight."

"D-don't remind me about that!" Sayaka snapped. "I-I'd beat Shizuki in a _real_ fight! S-she caught me off-guard!"

"Yeah!" Her housemate joined in, indignant.

"Looks like Hitomi always catches you off guard." Mami responded teasingly.

Sayaka was taken aback by the fact that her soliloquy on the school roof was also recorded. "You know, I know that's not exactly what I said, but _how did you know I said that_?!"

"One, I was there, and two, Kyubey was there." Mami pointed out.

Homura grumbled. "I still should've disposed of Kyubey before this happened."

Kyubey flicked its tail casually, turning to Homura. "I'm not exactly sure why you would want to prevent the chain of events that lead to you living with Ms. Kaname. You have your wish, don't you?"  
"Several timelines of accumulated hatred doesn't go away easily." Mami shrugged. "You're going to have to try a lot harder than that if you want Homura to accept you, Kyubey."

"And you even made them make me look like a villain." Homura looked highly irritated at her upperclassman.

"That was their idea. I just told them to make you look aloof, which you are anyway." Mami shrugged. "Not my fault."

"Well, you do act like that in real life." Sayaka pointed out. "And you did you wanted her to tell the truth."

"They even got my exact description of my fight, too." Mami chuckled. "I LOVE this anime studio!"

"I don't!" Kyoko snapped. "Why am I _still_ not in this?!"

"Just be patient, Sakura. "Mami closed her eyes and exhaled. "I'm sure Mami, despite all the _other_ lies she fed them, didn't forget you."

Kyubey turned to Madoka. "You have been somewhat quieter than expected, Ms. Kaname."

"I'm just amazed Mami turned our story into an anime to make it so nobody believed this ever happened..." The pinkette muttered. "...I suppose that that one thing Hitomi said once...refuge in audacity! Yes, that...I think that fits what she did here very well."

* * *

"Kamijou..." Sayaka stared at the screen, drooling slightly. "...h-he looks exactly like he does in reality..."  
Kyoko gave her an irritated glare. "He's taken! Quit drooling over him, y-you idiot!"

Mami rolled her eyes. "If Hitomi saw this, she'd slap you silly."  
"Don't remind me..." The blunette muttered darkly. "I know he's taken...and I still say I could beat Shizuki in a real fight."

"...I'm not liking my voice very much, though." Mami tutted, somewhat disappointed. "My voice sounded a little overstretched. Not that I'm insulting my dub actress- in all other respects, she sounds exactly like me."

"You see, Sayaka? Don't make selfish wishes!" Kyoko grumbled. "Idiot."

"I-It wasn't that much of a selfish wish! And anyway, h-he's with Shizuki now!" Sayaka snapped back angrily. "D-don't get hung up on that, idiot!"

Madoka giggled. "Like an old married couple."

"SHUT UP!" Kyoko and Sayaka yelled in unison. "IT'S NOT LIKE THAT!"

"As awesome and as cool as Mami..." Madoka repeated herself on screen, musing. "You know, I wouldn't quite put it like that."  
Mami blanched in abject shock. "M-Madoka! Y-you wound me with such harsh words..."

Homura crossed her arms. "It isn't how I'd put it either."

"How blunt..." Mami responded, wounded.

"Dramatic." Kyoko whistled. "I'm pretty sure the whole fountain thing didn't happen like that, either."

"Nope, it didn't." Homura sighed. "It was far more undignified. Mami made up more stuff to make herself look better."

"C-can't a story be embellished to a point, Homura?" The upperclassman protested, by now all by defeated.

"If you're going to tell a story about something real for the purposes of misdirection, then try to make everyone look equal."  
"In my defence, half of this isn't my fault!" Mami responded. "Like, for example, that!"

"Huh?" Madoka tilted her head at the screen. "What are yo-"

Kyoko, Sayaka and Madoka's mouths hung open as Mami's head was bitten off by Charlotte.

Mami exhaled. "...wow. I'm offended. All I said was that I left the story around this point.

I'm hurt that they killed me off like this. It just seems a little rude and without ceremony."

"W-wha..." Kyoko blinked, still in shock. "...how are you so nonchalant about this?"  
"I'd be less nonchalant if I wasn't, you know, alive. And you weren't there to see me take this Witch down." Mami whistled. "The way it happened..."  
"Was completely illogical and wouldn't work if you actually followed the laws of physics." Homura completed for her, irritated. "Just how did you _do_ that anyway? The explanation you gave me still doesn't make any sense."

Sayaka rolled her eyes. "Homura, quit whining. Besides, you get to blow up the Witch!"  
"I don't think you should be so happy about blowing up a little girl. Even if she was a giant clown-caterpillar thing at the time." Kyoko pointed out helpfully. "And you guys never told me how Mami took out Charlotte."

Mami grinned. "Trust me. I'll have to tell you about it some other time."

Madoka nodded hurriedly. "Y-yeah! It was...certainly..." She looked aside, frowning slightly. "...something."

* * *

**To be continued...**

* * *

**A/N: Well, there's that. Next chapter, we're going to cover episodes 4-12, hopefully. Suffice to say, Mami is not amused that Urobotchi-san wrote in her death like that. Not at all.**

**So, I hope you enjoyed that, leave your ideas, comments, suggestions, thoughts, criticisms and reviews, and I hope you have a GREAT day! Until next time!**


	7. Hiatus Announcement

**Hello, one and all.**

**After only six chapters, this story will now unfortunately go into a hiatus. As much as I love writing about Homura and her madness, I also realised that I didn't really have a plan to go on with this story- which is saying something, considering I write the Reactsverse in general on the seat of my pants. I also had several ideas which to fill the slot that this fic's updates once took, ideas which I want to put into play. I also didn't feel like Homura Reacts was up to scratch, and therefore, I made the decision, somewhat reluctantly, to put Homura Reacts on hold while I pursue other projects.**

**However, that does not mean to say this hiatus will be permanent, no siree. If I see fit, or if I have a plan, I will likely reboot or restart Homura Reacts from where I once left off. And possibly, in the coming weeks, I will upload the second half of the Puella Magi Madoka Magica chapter- I might as well, given that it's about half finished on my computer, but that will not be a priority.**

**For now, however, this is ElfCollaborator, signing out. See you around, readers of Homura Reacts, and hope to see you in the rest of the Reactsverse.**


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